Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
