I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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