thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
