When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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