Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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