I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
