Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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