I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
