hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
