What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Buhtt sex?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
