It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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