I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
