wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
