Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
