she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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