This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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