why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize