Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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