There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my being single is dangerous.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
