someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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