I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize