i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
