do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
