Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
