What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
