I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
