Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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