Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
