thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
