I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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