there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
