Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
