I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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