Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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