I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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