This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
