How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
