How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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