Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
