i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
