You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
