i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
