She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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