hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Watching her eat just hurts me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
