i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
