Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she told me i tasted like america
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
