she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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