She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
