There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
