I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
