too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
