R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We're too hungover to prance.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
