I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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