Will you blow on my dice?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
