Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
