pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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