im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
