you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
