i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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