it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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