i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
